The Return of Emily
by Exintaris
Summary: Starts in Series 5. Emily turns up one night, hoping to get Ross to forgive her and take her back. Will she succeed, or will Rachel get Ross back? This and other important questions are all answered.
1. Confrontation and Detente

The Return of Emily

This story should begin between 5,12 (TOW Chandler's Work Laugh) and 5,14 (TOW Everyone Finds Out). Chapter 1 corrected, following SFGrl's astute spotting of a contradiction.

Disclaimer: The Friends characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.

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Part 1: Confrontation and Detente

It was a dark and stormy evening, and most of the friends were gathered in Monica and Rachel's apartment, when the buzzer went. Surprised, because they were not expecting visitors and had not ordered anything, Monica answered. 'Monica Geller; who is it?'

'It's, it's Emily Waltham,' came a rather desperate-sounding voice. 'Look, I have very little money, and it's pouring out here, and I can't think what to do … could I come in, just for a while?'

Monica hesitated for a long moment. 'Okay,' she said finally, and pushed the door release.

'Thanks,' said Emily, sounding very grateful. 'I'll be right up.'

Monica turned to the others. 'It's Emily,' she said. 'She sounds in a bad way, so I thought I'd let her come in out of the rain.'

'And you didn't tell her to get lost?' said Rachel in sudden fury. 'After the way she treated Ross – and me?'

'I want to know why she's in New York,' said Monica quite calmly. 'And if she's come to beg Ross to take her back, don't you think he deserves the chance to make her crawl, or jerk her around a bit?'

'Ooh – _vicious_,' said Phoebe approvingly.

'Well, I don't want to be in the same room as her,' said Rachel. 'Guys, can one of you let me into your apartment?'

'Sure,' said Joey. 'In fact, I'll come with you. I don't want to be around her either.'

So it was that when Emily appeared, lugging two large suitcases and looking even more of a drowned rat than on her first appearance, only Monica, Chandler and Phoebe were there to see. She looked at them rather apprehensively.

'Thanks so much for letting me in, Monica,' she said. 'I know I don't deserve it. Er … Rachel's not here? Is she with Ross?'

Monica shook her head. 'They're not together. He's at Carol and Susan's, baby-sitting Ben. Why don't you take off your coat and sit down, and tell us why you're in New York? Oh, I'd better get you a towel.'

'They're not together?' Emily echoed, looking puzzled. 'But I thought … oh yes, thank you.' She did as suggested and took a seat, looking even more nervous as she took in the rather hostile expressions of Chandler and Phoebe.

'Okay, so why are you here?' said Monica, returning with a towel. 'Weren't you getting married … again?'

'I couldn't go through with it,' said Emily rather wildly, pausing in her use of the towel to dry her face and hair. 'I realised I was deceiving myself. I kept thinking of Ross and all we had been to each other, and I saw what a mistake I was making and … and had made.' Her voice had become rather shaky. 'So I, I broke off my engagement to Colin and came over. But Ross wasn't in the flat he was supposed to be renting from my cousin. So I went on to my cousin, where I had been going to stay, and found out he'd evicted Ross, and we had the most _shattering_ row.' She shook her head as if unwilling to believe what had happened. 'I _never meant for that to happen; it was so, so _petty_.' She looked at them as if begging them to believe her. 'Where is Ross living now?'_

'He's staying with us while he looks for another apartment,' said Chandler in a neutral tone.

'Oh no,' said Emily softly.

'And what with one thing on top of another, his temper has got so out of control, he's been forced to take leave of absence from his job,' said Phoebe. 'So he's got nowhere to live, no one to love, and not much to do,' she added, keen to make Emily realise all the harm she had done.

'Oh my God!' Emily cried, and burst into tears.

Monica looked at Phoebe. 'There was no need to go that far,' she said rather reproachfully.

'Wasn't there?' said Phoebe nastily. 'This limey dame has totally screwed up your brother's life, and you want me to lay off her?'

'I've screwed up my own life as well,' shouted Emily tearfully. 'And anyway, how would _you_ like it if, if you were getting married and he, he said the name of his old lover, and then, when you thought you could forgive him for that, you, you found he was going to go off on the honeymoon with her?' She put her hands over her face and cried loudly.

Ever soft-hearted, Monica crossed over and knelt beside her. 'We know you have had a tough time as well,' she said. 'But he didn't go with her, he went after you, and he explained it all later. But you went rather far in what you expected of him if you were to get together again, didn't you?'

'Oh, _don't_,' Emily wailed, but she totally failed in her attempts to say any more, collapsing into helpless sobs. Chandler and Phoebe looked at each other uneasily while Monica tried to comfort her. Suddenly Phoebe got up, went to the fridge, from which she took a bottle of water, and poured a glass. She took it over to Emily.

'Have a drink,' she said. 'I'm sorry to have upset you so badly, but, you know, we have been … rather mad at you for trying to split Ross off from us.'

Emily made a noise that might have been interpreted as denial, but she took the glass and drank, her hand shaking so badly it rattled against her teeth. Then she looked up, her face a complete mess of tear-tracks, some containing mascara. 'I've been over and over it in my mind,' she said. 'If you only knew how I _wished_ I could take back some things – but I wasn't really trying to split Ross from you …' She sobbed, looking about to break down again.

Monica decided to intervene. 'Now you must stop crying,' she said bracingly. 'It won't make things any better. I am prepared to believe you're genuinely sorry for things you've done, and things that have happened which you did not intend. But I have to tell you, it will take more than just being sorry to get Ross to forgive you, let alone Rachel. She was _not happy to hear that you were back.'_

'Is, is she still interested in him?' Emily faltered.

Monica sighed. 'No one knows the answer to that question, not even Rachel, I think. But she's certainly not behaving like it. She did encourage him to do what he had to, to make your marriage work.'

Emily's face began to crumple, but she bit hard on her lip and took a deep if shaky breath. 'I, I owe her an apology, then,' she said huskily. 'I really thought she was trying to get him back.' She sighed deeply. 'Where is she now, anyway?'

'In our apartment, with Joey,' said Chandler. 'Do you want to go over?'

Something that looked like panic appeared momentarily in Emily's eyes, but she swallowed hard, set her mouth, and stood up. 'If you would … take me over, I'd be grateful,' she said. 'I must do this before I lose my nerve.' She made an effort at a grin. 'Lead on, Macduff.'

Chandler's mouth twitched, and he looked approving. He held the door open for her and bowed her through. Monica and Phoebe looked at each other, then got up and followed. Then Chandler opened his own door and said, 'Rachel, Emily has something she wants to say to you.'

Rachel swung round in one of the Barca Loungers, in which she had been watching TV, and gave a little gasp as she took in Emily's haggard and tear-stained face.

Emily swallowed hard. 'Rachel, I, I want to apologise f-for all the hurt I've caused you by unjustified suspicions, that led me to do things I now … bitterly regret.' It was evident that she was only keeping her voice steady with considerable effort. She took a deep breath. 'I, I can't expect you to like me; only p-please forgive me.'

Rachel held her gaze for a long moment, her face masklike. Then she said, 'It took a lot of guts to come say this, I'll give you that. But that is a lot to ask.'

Emily's body began to tremble and her face to work, and tears began to trickle down again.

'Rachel!' said Monica rather sharply. 'Show a little generosity. Remember things you've told me – and Phoebe – and admit to yourself that Emily's suspicions were not so unreasonable.'

Rachel's face changed; for a moment it showed pain. 'Okay,' she said quietly. 'Let's … call it quits.'

'Thank you,' said Emily, equally quietly.

'Well done, both of you,' said Phoebe. 'Your auras look a lot better.' Even Emily could not avoid smiling a little at this characteristic Phoebism. 'So, Emily, you have nowhere to stay?' she went on.

Emily shook her head. 'I couldn't stay with my cousin – not after what I said to him.'

'The one who booted Ross out of his apartment?' Rachel asked, looking interested.

Emily nodded. 'I swear to you, Rachel, I never meant for that to happen. I was so angry! But because I was expecting to stay with him, I didn't come with much American money, and I've spent a lot of that on taxis. I can't go to my uncle, because he doesn't know I'm here, and anyway my aunt _won't approve of my breaking my engagement. I suppose I could look for a hotel, but my funds are low: I rather maxed my credit card getting a flight over here at short notice.' She looked at Monica pleadingly. 'Could I … possibly sleep on your couch, just for tonight? I'm so tired and jetlagged and … and overwrought.'_

Monica looked at Rachel, who nodded and said, 'I won't object. But I must warn you, Emily, if Ross meets you here, he's liable to _completely freak out. We need to tell him things before he sees you.'_

'We?' queried Monica.

Rachel looked uncomfortable. 'Well, I … maybe I _have been blaming Emily for things a bit too much. I think it might help if I … got involved a little, since Ross and I are on good terms at the moment.'_

Emily dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. 'Thank you, Rachel,' she said sincerely. 'I was … well, I was under a lot of stress when, when I tried to keep you and Ross apart, and it never went away. I fooled myself that I was happy with Colin, but I wasn't, and I knew it really, and … oh God, it's such a mess!' She looked at Rachel directly, her eyes pleading. 'I'm sorry to ask this of you, but I think you're the only one who might have an idea. Do you think I have any chance with Ross, any chance at all?'

Rachel sighed a little. 'Let's all go back into our apartment and have a drink. This needs some thought, and you look as if you could use one, anyway.'

'Thanks,' said Emily, 'but actually what I'd most like to do is repair my face. Could I use your bathroom, Monica?'

'Sure,' said Monica. 'I'll get you a dry towel.'

Chandler and Joey followed them back to the apartment. When Emily and Monica were out of the room, Joey said in a rather worried voice, 'Rach, you really want to help _Emily_ get back together with Ross?'

Rachel looked back at him seriously. 'I don't really want to, exactly, but we've got to do _something_ about him. He certainly hasn't tried to get back together with me, so maybe he would be better off with Emily, though personally I doubt if he has any feelings for her left.'

'Me too,' said Phoebe. 'But she has come an awful long way to admit she was wrong, and I think maybe she deserves a little help.' She looked across at Rachel. 'You're doing the right thing, you know. Hanging onto grudges is bad for the spirit. Don't you feel better for having forgiven her?'

Rachel cocked her head. 'Well, maybe.' Suddenly she grinned. 'Hey, it makes me better than her. She wasn't ready to forgive _me.'_

Phoebe looked at her sternly. 'This isn't a competition. Likely she was feeling insecure: I know I would, if my bridegroom said someone else's name when taking the vows.'

'Oh, can't we forget that?' said Rachel rather peevishly. 'Seriously, Joey and Chandler, do _you_ think Emily has any chance with Ross?'

But before they could reply, Emily returned with Monica. She still looked pale, but much better.

'I really am grateful to you people for giving me a chance,' she said, smiling at them all. 'I'm very sorry about what Ross has gone through, and if he'd let me, I'd make it up to him.'

Joey shook his head. 'No way you're going to be able to do that,' he said bluntly. 'You could go to him bare naked right now and I doubt he'd be interested.'

'Joey!' said Monica fiercely as Emily's face crumpled again. 'That wasn't very kind.'

'No,' said Emily, wiping a hand across her eyes and heaving a sigh, 'he's probably right. But I … I would like to _try to get him to forgive me. If I need to put in some work, well, I'm ready to.' She pulled a face. 'Talking of work, I need some. I … burnt my boats leaving; I dumped my job as well as Colin.'_

'Well,' said Rachel slightly maliciously, 'you could always try for a job in Central Perk, like I had once.'

The others looked at her in surprise and, in Phoebe's case, reproof. 'That's twisting the knife a bit, isn't it?' she said.

'What, you don't think Gunther might see a waitress with an English accent as a draw?' said Rachel with wide-eyed false innocence.

'Do you think he would?' said Emily, and they all turned to see that she was sitting up eagerly, her eyes shining. 'I've been a waitress before, when I was hanging around London after taking my degree and trying to get a real job,' she explained. 'I wouldn't mind a job like that, and it would mean I'd get to see you often … and,' she looked down, 'and Ross.' 

Rachel looked rather chagrined that Emily seemed keen on the idea that she had put forward as an unkind joke, but Phoebe looked pleased. 'That's the spirit,' she said approvingly. 'And I think you shouldn't give up on Ross too easily. He certainly needs someone.'

'That's for sure,' said Monica. 'He hasn't dated in I don't know how long. Now, I think the best way to let him know that Emily's around is to ring him now at Carol and Susan's.'


	2. Conciliation and Alliance

Part 2: Conciliation and Alliance

"Ross," said Monica into the cell phone, "there's something you ought to know. Prepare yourself for a shock … well, Emily's here."

Ross's outraged "What?" could be heard clearly in the room. Monica held the phone away from her ear with a pained expression for a moment.

"Don't yell at me!" she snapped. "I didn't bring her here … No, she didn't marry him, obviously … I know because she came to the door a while back and I wouldn't turn away a dog on a night like this … Ross, that's _not nice_, whatever your feelings about her!" Suddenly she sounded rather mad. "Look, we've talked with her and she's genuinely sorry, and she didn't _intend_ for you to be thrown out of your apartment, she had a big row with her cousin about it, doesn't that count for anything? … Can't you at least _try_ to forgive her, when even Rachel has brought herself to do so? After all, _she_ didn't say the wrong name …"

Her eye roved to the couch, where Emily was sitting, gazing at Monica with painful intentness. "Yes, she's still here," Monica continued, "but if you just want to come and yell at her, I suggest you stay away until you've calmed down a bit … Yes, I _am _letting her stay, tonight anyway. She's not got much money and no place to stay, now she's blown it with her cousin … So, can I at least hope that you will _try_ to be civil at breakfast time? Okay, see you then."

She closed the connection and looked at Emily sympathetically. "You've got a really tough job ahead of you," she said. "Are you sure it's worth sticking around?"

Emily's face set. "I'm determined to give it a try. Anyway, I can't afford to get a ticket home yet. I'll need what money I have left to support me until I can find a job."

"You bought a single?" said Phoebe. "How did that go down with Immigration? Can you take a job, even?"

"Oh, I told them the truth, that I was hoping to get back together with my ex-husband, and they were quite nice about it. I have a visa allowing me to try for some kinds of employment, left over from arrangements we made at, at the time of the marriage. It's still valid." She sighed. "You're probably right, Monica, but I have to try. I … it's so hard to think you've made a mistake that you can n-never put right." Her voice wavered, and she looked for her bag and pulled out a tissue, to blow her nose loudly.

Rachel suddenly experienced a pang of fellow-feeling. "I know what you mean, Emily," she said quietly.

They all looked at her in surprise. She looked steadily back at them. "I have come to realise, that letter I wrote to Ross might be my mistake like that," she said.

"Oh yes," said Emily, almost smiling. "I hope this won't offend you, Rachel, but I heard _all_ about that, and about being on a break."

Chandler groaned audibly, but Rachel felt interested. "So, what do _you_ think? Were we?"

Emily looked amazed. "You want _my_ opinion?"

Rachel cocked her head, as if examining the idea. "Yeah. You're the only one who wasn't there, you weren't heavily involved in the whole affair. You might have a different angle."

Emily pursed her lips and sat in thought for a moment while everyone watched her, all interested to hear what she might have to say.

"Okay," she said quietly. "Here's what I think. Assuming what was said has been reported correctly, maybe you _were_ on a break, BUT – " she held up a hand to forestall any interruption from Rachel, "Ross was _stupid_ to take that as meaning you wanted it to be over for ever, and even more stupid, hurtfully so, in fact, to show so little trust in you" – she sounded rather emphatic suddenly – "as to suppose that you either were carrying on with Mark already or _immediately_ decided to do so, when he should have remembered in any case that Mark had a girlfriend!" She threw her hands in the air. "But it's impossible to reason him out of his pathological jealousy of Mark, or anything else. God knows, I tried, but eventually I gave up and just tried to shut it out when he started ranting."

"You, you tried to _argue _with him? About our break-up, about _me_?" said Rachel, stunned.

Emily produced a rueful little smile. "I hate to hear men slagging off women, even when it's a boyfriend on his ex-girlfriend. Men can be so blind to the faults in their own behaviour, which are often much bigger. It really gets my goat sometimes."

Rachel stood up, and walked over to sit next to Emily on the couch. "Gimme five, Emily," she said, smiling as she held up her hand. "You're talking my language."

Looking delighted, Emily smacked palms with her. Then her face sobered. "Rachel, you do realise that I'm going to try to get him back?"

"Good luck," said Rachel. "Frankly, I think you'll need every bit of it. I won't help you – but I won't hinder you, either. I'll let you into a secret that only Monica knows: I told Ross, when I got back from Athens, that I still loved him." Not only Emily, but several others gasped. "But I realised at once how ridiculous I was being and asked him to forget it. When his attempts to get back together with you failed, he made absolutely no move to get back together with me. Naturally, I kind of … went off the boil."

"Well, you were showing an interest in Danny then," Monica put in.

Rachel glared at her. "Emily didn't need to know that!"

"Plus, Ross was flipping all over the place," said Phoebe. "Why, he even got together with Janice for a short time."

"With Janice?" cried Emily, hugely entertained. She had heard all about Janice in the past. "This I have to hear. Tell me more!"

As Rachel and Phoebe competed to tell Emily the gory details, with frequent pauses as they all collapsed into laughter, Monica watched smiling. Improbable as it might seem, it looked as if Rachel and Emily were bonding through the one important thing they had in common – Ross.

-----

The next day, when Monica appeared at breakfast time, Emily was already up. She looked much better than she had the previous night. She had tidied away her possessions, neatly folded the makeshift bedding, and was getting things ready. Monica was very impressed at this, as well as by her remembering where some items were to be found and having got coffee going. When Rachel came in yawning, she was presented with a fresh cup of coffee by Emily and asked what else she would like. She looked surprised, and Emily giggled.

"I'm practising for waiting," she explained. "If I can't get a job in Central Perk, I can always try elsewhere."

Rachel grinned. "You'll have plenty of chances soon," she said. "The guys would love to be waited on hand and foot."

Emily began to look a little nervous. "Do you think Ross will blow a gasket when he sees me?"

Rachel giggled at the expression. The British did have funny ways of putting things.

"He better not," said Monica sternly. "I _told _him to try to be civil. Don't you worry, Emily: we'll see that he behaves himself."

"You're being very kind to me," said Emily rather humbly. "I'm sure I don't deserve it."

"You didn't deserve to have Ross say the wrong name, either," said Monica, "and ruin what was supposed to be the best day of your life."

"Yeah," said Rachel slowly. "I was so into trying to work out what it meant, I didn't see it from your point of view. Yeah, you had a hard deal, Emily. I don't really blame you for flipping; I would have done the same."

"Oh, me too!" said Monica. "I would probably have torn Ross limb from limb!"

Emily seemed very moved by this show of support. "Thanks," she stammered. "I really appreciate that."

Then the door opened and the men came in, Ross last of all with a very brooding expression on his face. Emily gulped, so loud that Rachel could hear her.

"H-hello, Ross," she quavered.

Ross turned to her. His face did not change, and he said nothing, just gave a short nod and sat down.

"C-can I get you a cup of coffee?" Emily pursued. "Or anyone else?"

"Thanks, Emily, that would be great," said Joey blithely.

"Yeah, I'll take you up on that," said Chandler, smiling at her.

But Ross's face did not alter. "You know what?" he said, addressing himself to Monica. "I don't think I fancy coffee this morning. Maybe I should have some tea," he added in heavily ironical tones.

"I could make you some tea," said Emily, trying to sound bright. "I've got some tea bags with me."

But Ross gave no sign that he'd heard. Emily brought the other two their coffees and sat down, looking very downcast. Then Phoebe showed up, and Rachel leaned over to Ross.

"Ross, you're behaving like a _jerk_!" she hissed at him.

"You're taking _her_ side?" said Ross in amazement.

"Well, I'm certainly not taking yours," said Rachel spiritedly, "not while you're in this mood."

"What am I supposed to do?" Ross retorted angrily, his voice rising. "Shrug my shoulders, say yeah, okay, those are the breaks, forgive and forget, just like that?"

"Ross!" said Monica warningly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he muttered, and applied himself to his cereal, glowering.

Emily was looking very dismayed. "I don't want you to quarrel over me," she whispered to Rachel.

"Don't worry about it," Rachel replied. "Ross can be an asshole sometimes, and it does no harm to tell him. It never permanently affects the way he behaves."

"But how can I show I'm sorry if he won't even talk to me?" said Emily sadly, forgetting to keep her voice low.

Ross looked at her, then away again, with an elaborate air of unconcern.

Emily was silent for a while, seeming thoughtful. Then she looked at Ross again.

"All right," she said. "You have an absolute right to be angry. I did put you through it, and I'm very sorry, for that and for making so many difficulties, especially over Rachel, who has been more forgiving than I deserve. Although it was not my doing, I am very sorry you were thrown out of my cousin's apartment, and I have broken with him over it. But" – she drew a breath that was half a sob – "I have found that I couldn't just walk away from what we had. You may be annoyed to see me here, but I had to try – just as you kept on trying to find me, and promised all kinds of things, even when I was being unreasonable. I can't forget that. I want to, to make it up to you."

By now Ross was looking at her, while everyone else was looking at him. He heaved a great sigh. "Okay, Emily," he said. "I appreciate that you've made this effort, and I accept that you're sorry. But there's nothing left. You could have saved yourself the trouble."

Emily sat frozen. She made an inarticulate noise and Monica, sitting next to her, saw her eyes fill with tears. Then she wiped a hand across them, almost angrily, and swallowed hard. "Very well," she said quietly, "but you'll have to put up with seeing me around for a while. I don't have the money to fly home without cleaning out what savings I have left. Those will have to be used to support me here and pay my credit card bill."

"Couldn't your parents help?" said Chandler.

"They don't even know I'm here," said Emily, "and I wouldn't go to them, anyway. You've no idea how much flak I took, just because Ross was an American. And when they hear I've broken my engagement to Colin they'll probably wash their hands of me. Besides, if you were in my position, would you want to go running straight back home with your tail between your legs? I have some pride."

Most of them nodded understandingly.

"You really did commit yourself to this, didn't you?" said Phoebe. "Well, I'll tell you what, Emily: you can move in with me for now. But you'll have to come up with some money for food."

"Oh Phoebe, you're so kind," Emily wailed, breaking down finally. The women gathered round to console her, including Rachel, while Chandler and Joey looked uncomfortable, and Ross looked obstinately unsympathetic.

"C'mon, man, go easy on her," Joey urged.

"I can't pretend to feel what I don't," Ross said loudly.

"Okay, but you could be nicer about it," said Monica, turning round and looking at him reproachfully.

"Yeah, what is it, you feel you've said sorry often enough already?" said Phoebe, sounding rather mad.

"Try to see it from her point of view," Monica said. "All her hopes for the future were destroyed. It's not surprising if she was off balance after that."

"She wouldn't trust me," said Ross angrily.

"I've already said to Rachel, I _bitterly_ regret that," said Emily, standing up and putting a little bit of edge into her voice. "Can't you _try_ to forgive me for it, as I tried to forgive you for saying the wrong name _and_ for inviting Rachel to go to Greece with you – which was not a good way to deal with any suspicions I might have, I have to say."

Ross was silent for a moment. "Okay, I will try," he said heavily. "But I don't see why you should expect me to be any faster about it than you were."

Emily made a choking noise and turned her face away, while Phoebe and Monica glared at him. Rachel felt a sudden intense irritation with Ross and the way anything that happened to him was, in his view, always worse than what had happened to anyone else, just as whatever he did was always more justifiable than when someone else did something similar. She jumped to her feet.

"Ooh Ross, I could _strangle_ you sometimes," she raged. "She wouldn't trust you, eh? Well, isn't that just so ironical? You wouldn't trust _me _in all that business over Mark, and it destroyed our relationship! Now you know how it feels!" She turned to Emily. "Come on, let's go down to Central Perk and see if we can't get you a job. They should be open by now." Grabbing a surprised Emily by the arm, she marched firmly for the door, remembered her bag, wheeled and collected it, and marched off again.

"Wait, wait!" cried Phoebe. "I'm coming too! I've got to take Emily to my apartment, so I'd better stick with her." She clattered out after them.

They went down the first flight of steps in silence, but on the second Phoebe said to Rachel, "Wow! You really gave it to him. Did you see his face? He was, like, _stunned_."

"He deserved it," said Rachel rather viciously. "He just will not accept that sometimes he's _wrong_."

"Rachel," said Emily in a shaky voice. They both turned, to see her eyes full of tears. She dashed them aside. "Mustn't be such a cry-baby," she said, "but … I want to thank you for sticking up for me back there. It was a very generous thing to do."

"Emily," said Rachel seriously, "if Ross had showed half as much obvious remorse as you have done, I'd have been back with him in a week. When I saw him giving you the same sort of treatment that I remembered, I just couldn't stand it. What hurts most is, he's not always like that."

"No," said Emily, "that's the problem, isn't it? A lot of the time he's sweet, and kind, and loving, just the sort of man you would want to go out with."

They smiled at each other rather sadly.

"This is just great," said Phoebe enthusiastically. "You getting on so well," she explained when they looked at her. "Your auras really are looking so much _better_."

"I'd like to be friends," said Emily a bit shyly. "I know it must seem weird, with our history, but I never hated _you_, Rachel. I had this totally distorted picture of you in my mind; that was what I hated. I was convinced you'd be back with Ross by now, for instance."

"Well, Emily," said Rachel, "when I think about it, maybe you had a right to hate me. If I hadn't decided Ross had to know what I felt for him – though I didn't tell him, then – likely you'd be happily married now."

"We'll never know," said Emily. "Myself, I suspect he hadn't got over you, and that's why he said your name. It would have come up sooner or later. So don't worry about it. What's done is done. Let's agree that we've each done the other _wrong_" – she said it very melodramatically – "but that we want to put it all behind us."

"I can certainly agree to that," said Rachel. She stopped as they left the building, aiming to hug Emily, but Emily stuck out a hand, so Rachel rearranged her arms and shook it firmly.

"Did you want a hug?" said Emily, looking a little amused. "You're a very touchy-feely bunch, aren't you? Here." She held her arms wide and, somewhat gingerly, they embraced, while Phoebe applauded.

"Right!" said Rachel, feeling charged for some reason. "Central Perk, here we come."

She marched in ahead of them determinedly. Gunther was behind the counter as usual; he beamed when he saw her.

"Gunther, you remember Emily?" she asked. Gunther nodded. "Well, she's come over here trying to get back with Ross, but that may take a while, and she hasn't got much money. Could you give her a job? She's got a visa and everything."

"She's also got London experience," said Phoebe, "if you think that counts." Rachel rolled her eyes at this continuing evidence of Phoebe's unreasonable prejudice against London.

Gunther looked rather taken aback. "But, but weren't you … and she – "

"We've had our problems," Rachel interrupted rather impatiently, "but we've resolved them. Oh yes, something else." She shot Emily a mischievous look, unable to resist a little dig. "She's something of a singer, aren't you, Emily? So she could be a singing waitress."

Emily just laughed. "I love to sing," she said. "Folk stuff, old ballads, some of the moderns like Johnny Cash – you name it."

"It would make a … contrast with Phoebe," said Gunther thoughtfully. "But you want to wait too … Tell me what you used to do in London."

Emily reeled off an impressive list of tasks she had learned to perform. "But obviously I'm rusty," she said. "I haven't done most of them for ages."

"Okay," said Gunther. "Well, how are you about handling early shifts? Most people don't like them, so I can't open to catch the early shifts off to their jobs."

"I'll do anything, if you'll give me a job," said Emily eagerly.

"Come by at seven thirty tomorrow," said Gunther, "or earlier if you can make it. I'll give you a trial."

"Oh thank you!" cried Emily ecstatically. She leaned over the counter, grabbed him, and gave him a smacking kiss. Gunther looked dazed, but not displeased.

Emily then turned to Rachel and Phoebe and gave them the same treatment. "Thanks so much for your support," she said, beaming at them. "It's made all the difference."

Rachel was pleased to have her efforts so readily acknowledged. She was not as easy about the whole situation as she pretended. Apart from anything else, those feelings for Ross were peering out of their hiding place and sniffing around again. It was why she had been so mad at him: he could be so much _better_ than the way he was behaving right now. She sighed as they walked back to the apartment, so that Emily could pick up her bags and move to Phoebe's.

Emily turned a sympathetic look on her. "He's hard to get out of your head, isn't he?" she said quietly. "And it must have been worse for you, when you're in each other's company all the time."

"I don't know what I want to do about him," said Rachel, "and that's the plain truth – though why I'm telling you I don't know!" she added semi-humorously.

Emily's mouth twitched. "Maybe it's good to tell an outsider. You all live in each others' pockets so."

"I told someone on the plane about Ross and me," Rachel confessed. "I poured it _all_ out. God, I must have looked dumb! And this guy sitting next to me, he said nothing good would come of it, and he was so right, wasn't he? He also said, he thought we were on a break," she added moodily.

"Rachel, I hope you're not obsessed with that the way Ross is," said Emily rather tartly. "The point is not so much whether you were on a break or not, as what Ross _did_ about it, which as I've said does _not_ show him in a flattering light."

"You could be good for me," said Rachel seriously. "It does help to talk to someone who knows Ross well as a lover, not as his sister. Maybe I should have talked to Carol long ago."

They said no more, but walked on in harmonious silence.

When they returned to the apartment, Ross had gone. The others expressed pleasure that Emily had a job. Well before the end of the morning she was installed in Phoebe's apartment and had gone off to look for a bank or cashpoint she could use, to get some money for immediate purposes. She also planned to do some telephoning, to see if contacts she had had in New York were still there. Monica was pleased to see that, while the Ross situation was still totally unresolved, Emily was not going to mope about it, and thoroughly approved. She was also relieved to get her out of the apartment, for her presence had inhibited any contact with Chandler, and even after one night she missed him. Now there was every hope that the Ross-Emily situation, as well as being interesting in itself, would take the others' attention away from them, when they had come close to being discovered. Things were looking up.


	3. Bye Bye Love

Part 3: Bye Bye Love

Author's Note: That's better! Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. The observant will notice that I have again made Emily a singer, as I did in TOW The Blues (and indeed in the Emily chapter of the Love Goddess sequence). Although there is no warrant for this in the TV series, I make no apology: her character needs to be fleshed out, and this is an area that I know well, being very fond of singing the kind of stuff she likes (I know at least part of all the songs I mention, boast boast).

-----

As day succeeded day, Emily quietly became part of the friends' lives. Even Ross adapted, if grudgingly, to her presence among them, although it took some time before he could bring himself to address her directly, and when he did, it was only to disagree with something she had just said. This began to be so noticeable that one or more of the other women would often glare at him when he did it, but Emily never showed that it bothered her.

'Why do you put up with Ross's crap?' said Phoebe to her one day. 'Any of us would have booted his ass by now.'

Emily gave a little grin. 'So would I have done, back in the old days. But I see this as my penance, Phoebe. If I am to get anywhere with him, I cannot afford to be antagonistic. It's not as if I roll over and play dead when he disagrees with me; I won't go that far. But he has got a _lot_ to get out of his system. Best to let him do it.'

In point of fact, Ross did not have many opportunities to behave in this way, for when they were in Central Perk and Emily was working, she spent far less time with them than Rachel had used to do. She proved to be a notably efficient waitress, and as such made a good impression on Gunther, her fellow waitresses, and the clientele, who were often charmed by her British accent. At first she was reluctant to do some singing, despite what she had said to Gunther, for she was afraid this might alienate Phoebe. But Gunther, who had taken to her from the start, was very keen to hear her sing, and had a quiet word with Phoebe. So it was that, one Sunday afternoon, Emily finally stepped in front of the microphone. She had a good enough voice to carry a tune without backing, but Phoebe was there with her guitar, and after a while she began to accompany her. She later told the others that they had sometimes sung together in her apartment.

Emily's repertoire was mainly of the folk type of songs, but it covered items made popular by singers as varied as Burl Ives, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, and a whole variety of English, Scottish and Irish singers and groups, and it ranged from truly traditional items as old as Mary Hamilton to songs of today like Folsom Prison. What particularly appealed to her audience, which grew substantially during the afternoon, was the way she would vary the type of song from one to the next, following a standard like The Nightingale or Barbara Allen with something much lighter, like In The Jailhouse Now, and then moving to one with a rousing chorus that everyone could learn and join in, like Have A Drink On Me. People began to make requests, but discovered that she would not sing most pop or country and western songs. She did, however, admit that she had one or two favourites, and asked the audience to guess them. No one was lucky, until Ross, who had been sitting looking glum, suddenly called out, 'How about Bye Bye Love, by the Everly Brothers?'

'Ross!' cried Monica and Rachel in simultaneous horror, which was covered by laughter in the audience. Joey also looked shocked.

He looked back at them all blandly. 'What?'

Before anyone could speak, Chandler hissed, 'She's going to sing it!'

_Bye bye love,  
bye bye happiness, _

_hello loneliness,  
I think I'm gonna cry.  
Bye bye love, _

_bye bye sweet caress, _

_hello emptiness,  
I feel like I could die,  
Bye bye, my love, goodbye,_

sang Emily. Her voice was light, her face was smiling, as if to say, it's only a pop song. Some of the audience, probably familiar with the song from its revival in the musical All That Jazz, joined in. Emily's glance occasionally rested on Ross, but not so often that it seemed deliberate. But when she had finished, without a break she launched straight into a slow, haunting song of lost love from the Appalachians made famous by Jean Ritchie, My Dear Companion.

            _Oh have you seen my dear companion,_

_For he was all this world to me?_

_I hear he's gone to some far country,_

_And that he cares no more for me._

_Don't you remember the day last summer,_

_The sun so warm, the skies so blue,_

_The little birds did sing so sweetly,_

_The day I fell in love with you?_

she sang. The whole of Central Perk went completely silent, recognising genuine emotion and pain in her voice. Phoebe did not even attempt to accompany her, but sat regarding her; in a while tears began to roll slowly down her cheeks.

As Emily sang the refrain for the second time, with the slight variation, _But now the stars have turned against me, And so he cares no more for me_, Ross bowed his head. He could not shut out the grief that her voice conveyed, a grief that he felt equally and could no longer hide in anger, a grief that encompassed not only his break-up with Emily, but the older troubles with Rachel and, behind them all, the original, traumatic break with Carol. As the refrain came round the third time, he swallowed hard, but could not resist the tears: he covered his eyes and made a choking noise as he attempted to control the sound of his crying. Watching him closely, Rachel, who was seated next to him, saw his shoulders shaking and patted him on the back. Her own eyes were pricking; she found the song very moving and poetically appropriate, if not very close to the facts of the situation between her and Ross. He turned a tear-streaked face to her.

'Those old songs can make you so sad,' she said softly, tears shining in her own eyes. He nodded, apparently unable to speak, and groped for a handkerchief.

The song ended. 'I'm going to take a break,' Emily announced in a very quiet voice, and amid loud applause she headed straight for the counter and went into the back room. Instantly Phoebe jumped up and followed her, and Rachel was not far behind. They found her standing with her back to the doorway, shuddering with sobs. She turned to see them and threw herself into Phoebe's open arms.

'Oh God, Phoebe!' she muttered brokenly. 'Bye Bye Love! Did he _have_ to do that?'

'There, there, sweetheart,' said Phoebe, stroking her hair. 'He's not worth it.'

Rachel moved up and patted Emily on the shoulder. 'You paid him out, honey,' she said. 'He was crying before the end of your last song.'

Emily lifted her head from Phoebe's shoulder and looked at her in amazement. 'W-was he really?'

Rachel nodded. 'I wouldn't lie to you, Emily. You really hit him hard.'

An expression that looked rather like satisfaction appeared on Emily's face. 'Well, it wasn't revenge, precisely, but if I've made him feel something besides h-hatred – '

'He doesn't hate you, Emily,' said Rachel softly. 'But he's very, very bitter, as he was with me.'

Emily nodded and turned to Phoebe. 'I, I don't think I can sing any more. Why don't you finish the set? Give them Smelly Cat.'

Phoebe smiled. 'I'll do that. Now I think you need to repair your face a little, and get a drink, and show him that you can take it and rise above it. Oh, and you know what?' She hugged Emily to her briefly again. 'That was like the _best_ singing I ever heard.' She hurried off, calling over her shoulder, 'I'll tell Gunther.'

Emily looked at Rachel, her face very uncertain. 'I … I'm not sure I can face everyone. I really laid myself open.'

'Yeah,' said Rachel, 'but everyone there was sympathetic to you. Just don't refer to it and people will let it alone, I'm sure.' She put an arm round her shoulders. 'Phoebe was right. You really have a talent. Have you never thought of going professional?'

Emily smiled weakly. 'Can you imagine my father's reaction to that? The echoes of the explosion would still be reverberating.' She straightened herself up. 'I'd better go and repair my face, as Phoebe said. Thanks for coming out, Rachel; you're a real friend.'

Rachel, very pleased, decided to open her heart a little. 'You know, I felt you were singing that song for me too. It brought it all back.'

'That's the trouble with songs,' said Emily, as they went through the doorway. 'They can make memories come alive.'

When they went out into the main room the counter was thronged, and there were people queuing behind .

'Oh my goodness!' cried Emily, suddenly energised. 'No time for faces.' She gave her eyes a final wipe with the handkerchief she had pulled from her sleeve and rushed off to assist the overloaded staff, though she was not on duty.

Rachel watched her, smiling fondly. No doubt about it, now she knew Emily so much better, she was getting to like her quite a lot. She made her way back to where her friends had been sitting, to see that only Monica was left, while Phoebe was sitting beside the microphone.

'That song really affected Ross,' said Monica. 'He left, almost in tears, and Chandler and Joey went with him. Serves him right, I say. That was a mean thing to do.'

'Yes,' said Rachel, 'but you know what, Mon? I felt sorry for him. This is the third time he's really been in love and it's gone wrong. You can't blame him too much for being bitter. And the song made him feel something else than bitterness, which I think may be a good thing.'

Monica nodded. 'You could be right. I hope so.'

Presently Emily made her way to them, clutching an enormous mug, and smiling at the patrons who complimented her on her singing. 'Phew!' she said. 'What a rush! Hey, I've had an idea: why don't we do backing vocals for Phoebe, like on that video of Smelly Cat where her voice got dubbed over?'

Monica and Rachel looked at each other. 'Yeah, why not?' said Monica, suddenly enthusiastic. 'C'mon, Rach, no one'll notice if we miss a note now and then, with Emily to cover us.'

Though surprised at Emily's sudden high spirits, Rachel found them infectious. 'Yeah, let's do it!' she said.

They rushed over to Phoebe, who indulgently accepted their offer of backing. She and Emily hastily worked out what they would do, and before long Rachel was singing along, and trying not to giggle at the rather ridiculous words. Some in the audience evidently did think it funny, but most gave them a respectful hearing and fair applause.

'You know what?' said Phoebe. 'Somehow I don't feel like singing much more. Let's finish with one of your choruses, Emily.'

'The Wild Rover,' said Emily instantly, and led off:

            _I've been a wild rover for many's the year,_

_            And I've spent all me money on whiskey and beer…_

Half a dozen voices joined in at once, and more knew the chorus. By the time the second chorus was reached, the entire audience were raising the roof, stamping or clapping thunderously the four beats after _And it's no, nay, never…_Arms around each others' shoulders, Phoebe, Monica, Emily and Rachel swayed in time to the rhythm, singing lustily, totally immersed in the moment. When the song had finished on a prolonged _No NEVER, no moooore!_ there was a storm of applause and cheers. Then Central Perk began to empty, though many of those leaving came up to say a word or two of congratulation to Emily, who looked flushed and happy.

'Ohhh, that did me good!' she said, beaming at the other women. 'Well, what now?'

Monica sighed a little. 'I'd like to follow that with a girls' night out,' she said. 'But I suppose we'd better get back to the apartment and collect the guys, or Chandler will mope.'

'Why Chandler particularly?' asked Emily curiously.

Monica looked at a loss for a moment. 'Oh, er, um, well … he's the type who always _does_ mope, if he thinks he's being neglected,' she produced. Emily found her air of triumph surprising; it was if she was pleased with having concocted a good excuse. She wondered if something was going on between Monica and Chandler, and decided to keep an eye out for anything significant.

Gunther came up just then, with a thick handful of notes and coins. 'The customers left these for you, Emily,' he said, 'and _thanks_ for helping out in that rush. I'll add a bonus to your next pay check.' He paused, looking a little shy, then said, 'That was really great singing,' in a warm voice, before moving away a bit hurriedly.

'I think he could be interested in you,' said Phoebe archly.

Emily giggled. 'Well, that's another boost to my confidence. Oh, thank you all so much for being here for me and joining in so well.'

'I wouldn't have missed that for anything, would you, Rach?' said Monica.

'Oh no,' said Rachel. 'Best fun I've had since I don't know when.'

'It _was_ fun,' said Phoebe. 'Well, mostly fun,' she amended, looking at Emily a bit apprehensively, as the others did too.

But Emily smiled at them. 'I've sung it out of me. I know, I cried, but I think singing My Dear Companion was cathartic. I feel so much better about … everything. Okay, let's go and find our wandering boys.'

-----

In their apartment, Chandler and Joey were trying to console Ross without much success.

'It really hit me,' he was saying sadly. 'It brought them all back, all my lost loves, Emily, Rachel, and Carol too. You know, I noticed Rachel was crying a little.'

'We all were,' said Joey. Chandler looked at him quizzically. 'Well, _I_ was, and I could see tears on Phoebe's cheeks, and on plenty of people in the audience, guys included. Just because _you _have a frozen heart …'

'Okay, it was a sad, sad song,' said Chandler. 'Well, Ross, what are you going to do about it?'

Ross looked at him questioningly.

'It's clear that a lot of feelings are still swimming around,' Chandler elaborated. 'If Rachel was affected, maybe she'd be interested in getting back together with you. That dear companion song was powerful. I know, if I saw Janice right this moment, I'd be tempted,' he added, taking a chance to lay a false trail so Ross would not suspect what was going on between him and Monica.

Joey snorted derisively, but said nothing.

'And of course,' Chandler went on hastily, 'Emily came here to try to win you back, but I guess you've shot that one down in flames. Bye Bye Love!' He snorted. 

'Oh God, I wish I hadn't done it now!' Ross moaned. He blew his nose. 'But I was, I was so _bitter_. I feel so much better for having cried, but, but that song's made me actively want to get back with one of them. The problem is, which?'

He looked at them mournfully. Chandler shook his head. 'I can't advise you, man. I've had my problems, but I've never been in a position like this.'

'Me too,' said Joey. 'But what I think is, Rachel is the one you've loved the longest, and, like Chandler says, you've probably blown any chance with Emily with that Bye Bye Love stunt.'

Ross sighed. 'Yes, and in some ways, you know, Emily has treated me worse. But should I do that to her, I mean, go back to Rachel right in front of her? It might destroy her.'

'You don't even know that Rachel would take you back,' said Chandler, dismayed at signs of the re-emergence of self-satisfied 'She still wants me' Ross.

Then there came hammering on the door. 'Come on, you guys,' cried Monica. 'Let's go out and celebrate the success of Emily's first singing spot. She got so much in tips, she wants to treat us all!'

'I'm there!' cried Joey, grabbing the door and throwing it open.

'You're coming,' Chandler hissed to Ross, who was hunching in his chair, 'if I have to drag you by the ear. This is your chance to make nice to them both and see how things really stand. Emily got back at you with that song, so maybe she won't be too mad at you. Anyway, you have to _try_!'

Ross nodded. 'You're right, you're right.' He got up and followed the others.


	4. Discoveries and Confessions

Part 4: Discoveries and Confessions

Gunther leaned on the counter and watched Emily fondly as she led the customers in a rousing rendition of Liverpool Judies. She certainly has the knack for communicating enthusiasm for her songs, he thought, and not just to the customers. Phoebe was accompanying her and singing along with an enormous grin on her face, as if she was really enjoying herself. Quite often, now, she joined Emily in her songs, their voices contrasting nicely. It made a good change from her own offbeat, if not completely weird songs, in which Emily would sometimes join her. Emily was now so popular that she had a spot almost every night. She loyally shared this with Phoebe, but it was Emily that the customers came to hear, in increasing numbers. He had to admit that Phoebe showed no signs of resenting this, but rather seemed proud of Emily, as well she might be. He had wondered if in fact she had a crush on her, but if so she was being very discreet about it.

It was no surprise now to Gunther to see Rachel joining in the songs and being friendly with Emily in her breaks; what was rather more remarkable was to see Ross doing so as well. Clearly something fairly major had gone down after Ross had set her up with Bye Bye Love – the final proof, as far as Gunther was concerned, that the man was a natural-born heel – and she had retorted with My Dear Companion, which had affected everyone, it was so obviously from the heart, but had hit Ross particularly hard – the man had actually cried, to Gunther's deep satisfaction. It now looked as if Ross had made his peace with Emily – he seemed much easier in her presence – and as if she had finally accepted that she and Ross were through, without bitterness.

In fact, if Ross was interested in anyone now, it was Rachel. Once this would have bothered Gunther, but now he found he could observe it without pain. For he found to his surprise that, almost without noticing it, he had got over what he now recognised for nothing more than a violent crush on a very attractive young woman with a lively personality, who was nevertheless so focussed on herself and her group that she barely noticed he was alive, even when he was her boss. Although Emily was not in Rachel's class, she was certainly easy on the eye, and just as lively when she was in a good mood, which she generally was these days. For that, at least, he could thank Rachel and her friends: after some initial coolness, they had warmed to Emily. He cherished the memory of the four women standing with arms around each other, singing their hearts out in The Wild Rover; it had been one of those moments that would always make you smile when you remembered it, that somehow summed up the feeling that it was great to be alive.

He had quickly realised that he had seldom made a better move than offering Emily a job. She was three times the waitress Rachel had ever been, and considerably better than most of the others too. She also had a good brain, and used it: she was far more interested in intellectual matters than Rachel had appeared to be. In slack times they often discussed all sorts of things, the arts, literature, social trends, even acting – all subjects Rachel would generally run a mile from. In fact, it surprised him that Emily should be content to remain a waitress and singer in Central Perk, but he supposed that it was because she had become quite close to the group and liked to see them. She made quite good money, also, for the tips she got were far better than Rachel had ever managed, and often patrons would leave something extra for her singing.

Glancing at the area generally occupied by Rachel and her friends, he noticed that while Ross, Rachel and Joey were there, singing lustily, Chandler and Monica were not. For a moment he wondered vaguely what they were up to – maybe Monica was having one of her laundry days and had roped Chandler in – but he was more concerned about Joey. It was hard to be sure from where he was standing, but he had a nasty feeling that Joey was beginning to take a strong interest in Emily. That would certainly mess up any plans that he might have. He decided that this time, there must be no hanging around: if he wanted to get anywhere with Emily, he was going to have to ask her for a date right away.

By a not entirely surprising coincidence, Joey was thinking exactly the same thing. It had taken him quite a while to get used to Emily, with her slightly abrupt manner that, he realised now, did not show a bad mood but was simply the way the British generally talked. Now that the situation with Ross had been resolved and she had become so much more cheerful, he could see her attractions; but even before then, he had found himself liking her, for the simple reason that she took the trouble to explain things to him. He knew he was not too quick on the uptake, and that there were a whole lot of things he didn't know. But while Chandler would simply look at him pityingly or angrily when he said something that showed his ignorance or his tactlessness, Emily, while laughing as much as the others when he truly made a boob, would take the trouble to tell him what he had got wrong or explain what he didn't know. And she produced explanations that he could understand. She even knew quite a lot about Ross's work, but she was much better at explaining it in simple language than he was. Joey felt that he had really grown in his understanding of the world and what was going on in it.

Wouldn't it be great, he thought, if he could have her around all the time as his girlfriend, educating him painlessly? Of course, Ross might choose to get mad at him for breaking the rule about not dating each other's ex-girlfriends, and this was even more serious, being an ex-wife, though they had never lived together as a married couple. But he was not about to let Ross frighten him away from trying to get to know a really interesting woman a lot better. The best part was, when you took a good look at her, she was really quite hot; but then, you had to hand it to Ross, geek or not, he did go out with some fine-looking women.

-----

Sitting down for a break in her set, Emily detected further signs of Gunther's interest in her, which she was not sure how to handle. She was still adjusting to life without Ross. It seemed to her as if her love for him had been like a fever, that had clouded her mind and driven her into uncharacteristic behaviour, and from which she was only now recovering. When they met again after her first singing spot, he had apologised very sincerely for the Bye Bye Love request, and thereafter had seemed much more like his old self; in fact, she had definitely got the impression that he was testing to see whether there was anything still there between them. But she had found to her surprise that on her side there was nothing left except memories and the natural attraction one might feel for an attentive and fairly handsome man. She really did seem to have sung her love for him out of herself.

But Gunther? He was polite, kind, intelligent – she enjoyed her conversations with him – but hardly what you might call exciting. Perhaps she should go out with him, to see if he had hidden depths, but the problem was that they might well prove to be unattractive. She knew the story of how he had broken up Ross and Rachel, by an act that could only be put down to pure jealousy, and while it was poetic justice that Rachel's trust in Ross should have been destroyed, when he had shown such distrust of her, it was an ugly thing to have done, which had resulted in great pain for Rachel, as Gunther could have foreseen and avoided if he truly cared about her.

So far, no other obvious options had presented themselves. She thought Joey was showing some interest, now that she was free, but that was just typical Joey, and while some of the customers flirted with her, she had not got the impression that any were working up to be serious. Of course, once she and Ross were admitted to be over, there was nothing to keep her in New York at all, but she felt reluctant to leave the group, now that she had got to know them so much better. Besides, she would like to see Ross settled – she felt she owed him that much – and the obvious person for him to settle with was Rachel. The thought of this did not bother her at all. Rachel had been so ready to meet her halfway in forgiving the past, and had been so supportive since, that Emily would be very happy to see her with Ross again.

Musing on these matters, she was gazing idly round when she noticed Chandler emerging from the restroom area, and all of a sudden it struck her that he had been there rather a long time. Then she thought she remembered that Monica had gone there too. She fixed her eyes on the restroom door, to see Monica emerge a short while after Chandler, looking even more furtive than he had. Realising what must be going on, she could not help giggling.

'What?' said Phoebe, looking round at her with a grin.

'Oh, I just thought of something,' said Emily airily. 'British comedy,' she amplified. 'It probably wouldn't seem funny to you.'

'Try me,' said Phoebe brightly.

Thinking fast, Emily described one of her favourite recurrent sequences from the Fast Show, with quotes, and Phoebe laughed like anything and said she shouldn't underestimate Americans' ability to appreciate British humour. 'I _loved_ Monty Python and the Holy Grail.' She laughed again, and began to talk of something else.

It was next day before Emily got the chance, but when she was serving in Central Perk, Monica happened to be the first to come in. She could not resist bending down beside her and hissing, 'Fly at once! All is known!'

Monica whirled round. 'What? What? You know?' Her eyes looked panicky.

_'Now_ I do,' said Emily evilly, her eyes twinkling. 'But don't worry, your and Chandler's secret is absolutely safe with me.'

Monica drew breath, as if to deny everything, then slumped against the couch. 'Oh hell,' she muttered. 'Joey knows, Rachel almost knows – this can't go on.'

Emily looked at her sympathetically. 'I _think_ I can understand why you want to keep it quiet, but when you all live so intimately, I warn you, it's bound to leak out. Anyway, I hope you're happy.'

Monica smiled softly. 'Oh Emily, I'm so happy. It's going really well. How did you spot it?'

'I'm glad for you,' said Emily, giving her a warm hug. 'You deserve to be happy at last. As for how I found out, I saw the two of you coming out of the restroom area.'

Monica pulled a face. 'If you can spot it, others might. We can't do that any more.'

At that point Phoebe came in, and with a wink Emily moved away. When Chandler came in later, the looks that he and Monica exchanged were so full of love that Emily wondered why neither she nor any of the others had spotted it. They just weren't expecting it, she supposed, and there had been all that weird business with Joey. She realised that she, like the others, had accepted what now seemed very flimsy and out-of-character explanations far too readily.

-----

Emily would always regret that she had missed most of the amazing developments that led to the revealing of Monica and Chandler's love affair. First, it seemed, Phoebe had spotted them making love from the window of a nearby apartment that Ross hoped to rent, when she was there with him and Rachel. Then, informed of the true state of affairs by Rachel, who had indeed found out, she and Rachel had tried to pay out Monica and Chandler for keeping it from them by having Phoebe pretend to come on to Chandler. This had backfired when Monica had realised what was going on and urged Chandler to act as if he was really interested in Phoebe. But in the denouement, Phoebe had outfaked Chandler and driven him to confess his love for Monica, and now everyone knew except Ross. Phoebe had recounted her seduction strategies to Emily between bouts of helpless laughter, in which Emily had joined. She confessed that she also had found out on her own and kept the secret, but Phoebe did not blame her.

'But aren't they weird, those two?' she said. 'Imagine doing it right up against a window! It's like they wanted to be caught.'

'I think they're just completely obsessed with each other,' said Emily, going on to explain how she had spotted it. Phoebe collapsed into laughter, setting off Emily again..

'But do you think it's wise to keep Ross in the dark?' she asked when she had recovered.

'They're afraid he'll, what is it you say, "blow a gasket",' said Phoebe. 'But now he's calmed down over you, I'm not sure Red Ross is such a problem.'

Emily nodded. 'I'm going to talk to them. Maybe they'll let me tell him.'

But when Emily broached the topic with them, Chandler became remarkably nervous. 'He'll _kill_ me,' he said. 'Emily, please don't tell him.'

'Nonsense!' said Emily firmly. 'He may be a bit annoyed that you kept it from him, but that's all. Look, I'm sure I can defuse all that. You must see, he's bound to find out soon, and it's ridiculous that all the rest of us have to keep quiet about it.'

Monica nodded. 'He'll spot something, just like the others did. Emily, I'd be very grateful if you could do this for us.' 

Chandler looked unhappy, but said nothing. Emily smiled. 'Consider it payback for taking me in. A Waltham pays her debts.'

She went to look for Ross next door, but though Rachel was there he was not to be found.

'I think he's showing his old boss over his new apartment,' said Joey. 'He should be back soon. Why don't you sit down and have a "chinwag"?' He waggled his eyebrows at her.

Emily shrieked with laughter. 'I think that went out before the Second World War, if not the First,' she gurgled. 'Cor blimey, guv'nor, you don' 'arf fink us Brits talk funny!' she added in a cockney accent.

Joey managed to conceal his chagrin at this light mockery, at which Rachel laughed heartily, and offered her a drink. They were discussing this and that, when they heard what was evidently Ross coming up the stairs, roaring Chandler's name in a voice of fury.

'Oh my God, I'll bet he's spotted them!' cried Rachel, jumping up. 'I don't know why they have this _thing_ about doing it at the window. Oh, this is bad.' She looked very worried.

'Damn, I was going to break it to him gently,' said Emily. 'Oh well, here goes.' She darted out into the hallway, just in time to come between Ross, who had reached the top step, looking very wild, and the door to Monica and Rachel's apartment.

'What _are_ you making all this noise about?' she said sternly, folding her arms and trying to sound like one of the feared disciplinarians at her old school, Cheltenham.

'Chandler …' he gasped. 'Chandler and Monica …' He attempted to get round her, but she kept herself between him and the door.

'I had just persuaded them to let me tell you,' she said calmly. 'They kept it from you because they were afraid it would upset you.'

'Damn right!' he snarled. 'My best friend and my sister …' The very thought seemed to enrage him.

'Well, what's so odd about that?' she said with a show of surprise. 'Lots of people fall in love with their friends' sisters. For one thing, they're likely to meet them more often than other women.'

Ross looked quite taken aback. 'They're in love?'

'Of course they're in love, fathead,' she said, not unkindly. 'Don't you know your sister better than that? She wouldn't go to bed with someone just for some sex.'

'I thought I knew her,' he said, sounding angry again. 'But then there was that stuff about stalking Joey – '

She waved him down. 'That was all a blind. I'm surprised any of us believed it; it was so unlike what we know of Monica. Joey's known for a long time and he's been covering for them, but he got a bit fed up about what he was having to explain, so he put them on the spot a little.'

Ross seemed to be calming down. 'How did you find out?'

'I, um, saw them together when they didn't know they were being watched,' said Emily. 'though not the way you saw them, I suspect, which is how Phoebe found out. That was when she was looking at that flat with you.'

'Ah, _that_ was what that was all about,' said Ross, his eye catching Rachel's as she came out of the other apartment. Suddenly he grinned. 'Phoebe certainly sounded surprised!'

'We paid them out for hiding it,' said Rachel. 'Let me tell you the story. It's pretty funny.'

'Later, Rach,' said Ross, but fairly genially. He turned back to Emily. 'So, you say they're in love?'

'Monica's very happy,' said Emily. 'You want your sister to be happy, don't you?'

Ross nodded, seeming a little grudging. 'It's hard to believe she could fall for Chandler.'

'She had a crush on him when she was a teenager,' said Rachel. 'And I think he's been keen on her for some time.'

'Why don't we go and tell them that you know?' said Emily. 'Then you can hear the whole story.'

Ross nodded. 'Yeah … I'd like that.' He tried the door, but it was on the chain. Monica peered out mistrustfully.

'This is the weather forecast,' Emily announced. 'Storm clouds have passed over, and the weather should be fair.'

Monica giggled. 'So Emily has explained, Ross …'

'I don't know everything,' said Ross grumpily, 'but she says you're in love.'

Monica's expression went soft. 'Yes,' she said simply. 'I really am.'

Ross smiled. 'That's great, Mon. Can I come in and hear all about it?'

She threw the door open. 'You're welcome, Ross.' As he went past her, she mouthed 'Thanks!' to Emily. Joey, who had also come out, went in after Ross, but Rachel paused, motioning to Monica to shut the door.

'Wow, Emily,' she said quietly. 'You handled that really well.'

'Ross can be reasoned with,' said Emily, 'at least on some things. Now, if I could get that "on a break" bullshit out of his head, I'd _really_ be proud of myself.'

'Oh Emily,' said Rachel, and suddenly her face showed naked longing. 'Would you, could you try, please please?'

'You've decided you want him back?' Emily asked sympathetically.

Rachel nodded, tears appearing in her eyes. 'Oh yes. But I don't just want to tell him,' she said. 'I don't know how he'd take it, and I do have my pride. I don't want him to think I'll just come running if he lifts his hand.'

'Mm.' Emily looked thoughtful. 'This may take a while. Can you be patient?'

'Then you'll help?' Rachel cried excitedly. 'Oh Emily!'

Emily smiled at her. 'That was Monica's payback; this can be yours. You've been very good to me, Rachel.'

Loud male laughter was heard from inside. 'Let's go in,' said Emily. 'All you have to do for now is just keep being nice to Ross. I need a cunning plan.'

Rachel giggled, recognising a reference to Blackadder, a British TV show that Emily had told them about. Suddenly she pulled Emily into a strong hug. 'I'm so glad we've become friends,' she said, beaming at her. 'I'm so glad you had the guts to come back, even if' – her face sobered – 'you didn't get what you really wanted. Emily, won't it hurt you, if I do get back together with Ross?'

Emilty shook her head. 'I have accepted that we are over, finally and for ever. But I still want to see him happy, and I think his best chance of that is with you.'

'I like to think so too,' said Rachel. 'Well, you just tell me what I have to do.' She grinned. 'It will be far easier to take orders from you than from Monica.'

'I think Monica will be a bit more relaxed now,' said Emily. 'Her love affair with Chandler could really go somewhere.'

Rachel looked rather sceptical but said no more, and they went in to join the others.


	5. Love, Dates, and All That Jazz

Chapter 5: Love, Dates, and All That Jazz

Author's Note: Just to say thanks for all the reading and reviewing. This is a bit shorter than the last chapter, but it stops at what seems to be an appropriate moment – got to keep you guys guessing :).

-----

That evening, Emily dedicated the first song in her now regular singing spot to Monica and Chandler. It was Ewan McColl's The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, and Monica was openly crying by the end. Then with a wicked little smile Emily swung into her next song, a traditional Irish ballad:

_Come single belle and beau, unto me pay attention,_

_Don't ever fall in love, 'tis the devil's own invention …_

and continued with the tragicomic tale of The Courting In the Kitchen. In fact, she made love a constantly recurring theme of her choice of songs that night, but never picked those that were truly sad or tragic, rather songs that were celebratory or at least lighthearted, even mildly risqué, though they might have a sting in the tail, like Home, Boys, Home. Here she got most of the customers joining in the chorus vigorously, as they followed the tale of how a sailor lad had seduced an inn's serving maid and left her money, with specific instructions for what to do if she should give birth either to a girl or a boy. Unable to conceal a grin, she sang the final verse:

_Oh come all of you fair maidens, a warning take by me,  
And never let a sailor lad an inch above your knee.  
For I trusted one and he beguiléd me,  
He left me with a pair of twins to dangle on me knee!_

Everyone burst out laughing and then bellowed the chorus like never before. She ended her set with the short, near-recitation I Was Walking In the Dew, which she sang a good deal more tunefully than Ronnie Drew of the Dubliners (whose voice has been so memorably compared to the sound of coke being crushed under a door). The whole coffee shop was still as she sang the last verse:

_And now the sun is se-etting,_

_And I am walking all alo-o-one – _

_Yes, I-I am walking all alo-o-one,_

_My love has gone awa-a-a-ay,_

_My love has gone awa-a-ay._

Then she bowed and moved to join her friends, acknowledging the outburst of applause and cheers with a smile and wave.

'You make a good case for love,' said Chandler, smiling at her as she sat down.

'Well, so do you two,' said Emily. 'Your example inspired me. It's good to know things are going right for some people.' She cast a glance at Ross, who was slumped in his seat. He had not joined in the singing, and there was a decided air of melancholy about him. Seeming to feel her eyes upon him, he sat upright.

'You sang really well, Emily,' he said rather sombrely, 'especially the last one.'

'Thank you,' she said simply. 'Any luck with getting your job back?'

He pulled a face. 'Blowing my top when I saw these two lovebirds was not the best way to convince Donald Ledbetter that I had my rage under control,' he said rather disspiritedly.

'Sorry, Ross,' said Monica sincerely. 'We, um, got carried away.'

He grinned a little reluctantly. 'Yes, well, I can remember times …' A reminiscent smile appeared on his face, then vanished again. 'Memories are all I've got,' he said sadly.

Emily leaned forward. 'Ross, don't _do that,' she said firmly. 'You'll never attract a woman if you go around feeling sorry for yourself all the time. Try to be like you were when I first met you. Look, at least you'll soon have an apartment again. That's something to be cheerful about.'_

His face brightened. 'Yeah, that's true – but I'd better get a job pretty soon, too, if I'm to go on being able to pay for it.'

'I'm sure something will come along any time now,' said Rachel encouragingly. 'You're far too good at your stuff to be left out of a job for long.'

'Why, thank you, Rachel,' he said, smiling at her. 'I didn't know you cared so much about my "stuff",' he added a little playfully.

'Oh, I care,' she said seriously, 'but about you, not your stuff.' She held his suddenly startled gaze for a moment, then turned away, giving her characteristic little cough, and said, 'So, Emily, how's the getting home fund coming along?'

'Well, if I keep getting all these wonderful tips for my singing, it shouldn't take too much longer,' said Emily. 'But – '

'Oh please don't go back to Britain!' Phoebe burst out. 'Stay here with your friends!' Everyone looked at her in surprise. She seemed confused by the vehemence of her own words, and blushed. 'I'm sorry, Emily,' she went on more quietly. 'Of course you should go home. It's just that … I _do_ like having you around, and if you go I'll _really_ miss you.' Her expression was sad.

'Phoebe, what I was _going to say,' Emily continued in a mock-severe tone, 'is that I don't think I want to go home yet. I enjoy your company, all of you, and being in New York, and getting paid for singing.'_

'Then you're staying?' cried Phoebe in delight, bouncing up and down on the couch. 'Yay!'

'For a good while, anyway,' said Emily, smiling at her enthusiasm. 'And now that I've made that decision, I'll tell you now, I'll start contributing to the rent.' As Phoebe made to protest, she waved her down. 'I can perfectly well afford it, if I don't have to save for an air ticket, and I shouldn't sponge off you, especially when you haven't got much yourself. Please let me, Phoebe.' She leaned forward and patted her on the knee affectionately.

'Oh, okay,' said Phoebe, seeming a little flustered.

'Hey, this is great,' said Rachel, turning and giving Emily a hug. 'To go on having our Em to sing for us.'

'Boy, Rachel, you certainly have changed in your attitude to Emily,' said Joey in surprise.

Chandler smacked his forehead in frustration, Ross groaned, Monica rolled her eyes and sighed deeply, Phoebe shook her head in despair, but Rachel and Emily just smiled.

'Joey, don't you notice _anything that's going on around you unless it's an apparently available female passing by?' said Rachel. 'Emily and I have been friends for _ages._ We've buried our past differences. That is so _over_.'_

Ross appeared very struck by this, as he had been by Rachel's earlier comment, and looked thoughtful. But then, as Emily kept a surreptitious eye on him, he shook his head and his expression became mournful again. She sighed. It was going to need something very strong to push him out of his present mood of melancholy.

Just then Gunther came up with the results of the collection that he now took regularly for Emily, beaming.

'Better than ever,' he said. 'Say, Emily, could I talk to you privately for a second?'

Suspecting what was coming, she smiled at him. 'Okay,' she said, and went with him to the counter.

'I would like to ask you to go on a date with me,' he said abruptly, and then pulled a face, evidently feeling that he might have phrased it better.

'Why, thank you, Gunther,' she said. 'I'm flattered, and happy to accept. What were you thinking of?'

'We could have dinner, maybe even see a show,' he said hopefully.

'I'd prefer a film,' she commented, not wanting him to spend too much money on what might never get anywhere, 'but I'm always up for dinner. There are so many different kinds of food to eat in New York, and I haven't sampled half of them yet.'

He grinned, more at ease. 'I've noticed you like your food. Good for you, I say. How about tomorrow night?'

She inclined her head. 'That's fine. I won't do my spot, then.'

'No, Phoebe can fill in,' he said, 'and you and I can take the evening off. I can find plenty of cover. Can you be here about six?'

She smiled. 'I'll be here.'

'He asked you for a date, didn't he?' said Phoebe as Emily sat down again.

Emily nodded. 'He's obviously interested. I'd like to see what there is behind the façade. After all, if he was an actor once …'

'I'm an actor,' said Joey suddenly. 'Will you go out with me, Emily?'

'Wow!' said Emily with exaggerated enthusiasm. 'All this time without offers, and now two on the same night! Well, Joey, I'm not saying no, but it can't be tomorrow night, and I don't think Gunther would be too pleased if I took a second evening off this week. But the weekend would be fine.'

'Ooh, Emily's getting some action!' cried Phoebe, with a little light mockery in her tone. 'But you watch out for Joey. He'll "beguile" you, given half a chance.'

'Hey, Pheebs!' Joey protested. 'It's not like that.'

'That will be a first, then,' commented Ross satirically. 'What happened to the code, Joey – all that about not dating your friends' ex-girlfriends, which should apply even more to ex-wives?'

Joey looked abashed, but defiant. 'Well, I … I just want to go out with Emily.'

'I don't remember signing up to any code,' said Emily lightly. 'This wouldn't be the code where men agree with each other who can go out with women who are related to them, or have gone out with them, and women don't get any say in the matter?'

Now Ross looked uncomfortable too. Chandler laughed. 'That's the one,' he said. 'As often applied to sisters.' His amused gaze took in both Ross and Joey.

'Hey, if you'd been interested enough in Mary-Angela to remember which one she was, I'd have been perfectly happy with it!' said Joey explosively.

'Okay, okay!' said Monica. 'No sense in starting up old fights. Emily goes out with whoever she pleases, and nobody should object.'

Emily grinned. 'I'd like to see anyone try to object.' She held up a fist.

'I, I was just trying to goose Joey,' said Ross apologetically.

'That's okay, Ross,' she said, smiling at him. 'I did realise. But I think I can look after myself – even with Joey.'

Joey started to say something, but Phoebe put a hand across his mouth. 'Don't, Joey. You'll only dig yourself in deeper. Just be grateful Emily will accept a date, and keep quiet.'

There was a ripple of laughter. Joey grinned and kept quiet.

-----

Surreptitiously, Emily sighed. She had enjoyed the film that Gunther had picked, and she was very much enjoying the Chinese meal that they were eating, but it had to be faced: on a date, Gunther was boring. He couldn't seem to chat easily about all kinds of things, the way they did in Central Perk. Instead, he seemed to think it was necessary to tell her the story of his life, of which she had heard the best bits already, interspersed with occasional rather lame compliments. She guessed he was nervous as hell. 

At a pause in the conversation, she decided to try something out. 'You don't get many dates, do you, Gunther?' she said in a sympathetic way.

He shook his head. 'No, and maybe' – he gave a little grin – 'that's why I never seem at ease on a date. I'm sorry.'

She waved it aside. 'You just need practice. Have you ever tried asking any of our regular customers for a date?'.

He looked surprised. 'No, it … never occurred to me.'

'Well,' she said, 'I may be right, and I may be wrong, but I think that one or two of them might be interested in you. I've noticed one who always seems to be getting into conversation with you, and she has that look about her, as if she wanted you to ask her out. I think her name's Elizabeth. You know, the one who's always humming Bye Bye Miss American Pie.'

'Oh, her,' he said, suddenly animated. 'You think … she's interested in me? She's very cute, but I can't help feeling she's a bit young. Won't she think I'm old and boring?'

'All I can say is, she doesn't show any signs of it,' said Emily. 'I've noticed her listening in on our conversations. Seriously, Gunther, I think you should make a move. She may well think you still have a crush on Rachel … and if she says no, you could always try Jenni,' she went on. 'She always comes in with friends, but she looks at you quite often.'

Gunther raised his eyebrows. 'You certainly notice a lot about our customers.'

Emily grinned. 'It's a female thing, spotting who has a crush or might be interested in someone, all that, and when you keep seeing the same people, and are looking out for something …'

'You're looking out for people interested in me?' he said in surprise.

She blushed a little. 'Well, yes. You see, you're very nice, but …'

'Ah yes, "but",' he said. 'I get a lot of that.' But he was smiling as he said it. 'Well, even if we didn't click, I'm very pleased I asked you out, Emily, because you have given me hope. Now, have you had enough to eat?'

Emily looked at the almost empty plates and bowls. 'I think so. I'm not too keen on desserts, anyway.'

Gunther finally got the check. Fortune cookies came with it; he read his out. '"You will find happiness with a new love." H'm, that implies I had an old love, but still … promising.'

Emily looked at hers. '"A woman is like your shadow. Follow her, she flies; fly from her, she follows." Ha, written by someone who can't understand why women won't just do what he wants, no doubt.' She stood up. 'Well, thanks for a great evening, Gunther. I really hope you find someone.'

He smiled broadly. 'So do I. At least I have prospects, and an idea. I'll try to spot if anyone else shows interest in me, though maybe I'd better check with you that I'm not misreading their behaviour!' He chuckled. 'And what about you? I understand you're going on a date with Joey.'

She grinned. 'That's just for fun – I can't see myself taking Joey seriously.'

Gunther shook his head. 'Don't underestimate the guy, Emily. You know what I think? He may not realise it himself, but all the time he's looking for someone to click with. He just never gives it time, and he doesn't really know much about women, except in one way, so he's rarely very easy with them.'

'How true,' said Emily. 'Well, be that as it may, I'm not sure I want to "click" with him. He's very sweet, but …'

'Ah, a different "but",' said Gunther, grinning. 'It's good to know the Joeys of this world get "but"ted too.'

'Oh, more than your kind do, if anything,' said Emily. 'In our heart of hearts, we _know_ he's bound to cheat, sooner or later; he can hardly help himself. So mostly we treat him as just for fun, a vacation from looking for a serious relationship. To be honest, it doesn't seem as if he minds.'

'Maybe, deep down, he does,' said Gunther. 'And that's why he's always dumping his women.'

Emily nodded, interested in this different point of view. 'You study the group more than your other customers, don't you?'

Gunther sighed. 'It was all because of being hung up on Rachel, and so watching her all the time with her friends, and listening in when I could. Well, at least I'm over that.'

'Good,' said Emily, hugging his arm in a friendly fashion. 'Hopeless crushes are a waste of precious time, and it wasn't good for you. I've never said this, Gunther, but it wasn't a very nice thing to do, telling on Ross to Rachel like that. Okay, he shouldn't have done it, but the poor man was in such a state, thinking he'd lost her …You can't help feeling sorry for him.'

Gunther frowned heavily. 'All very well for you,' he growled. 'I don't suppose you've felt anything like what I was feeling, then. He was putting her through hell, the way I saw it. Maybe he's changed since, though setting you up with Bye Bye Love hardly suggests it.'

'He did apologise,' said Emily. 'And we're all friends now. But he's just so sad all the time. If you had any plans to needle him, don't, there's a dear.'

'You're up to something,' said Gunther, looking at her with a little grin. 'Well, okay, if you want to try getting him back with Rachel, I won't stop you. But I've got money that says, you won't manage it, or if you do it won't last.'

'H'm,' said Emily. 'We'll see about that. Count yourself lucky I think this is too serious to make bets on.'

There was a degree of lightness in her tone, to which Gunther responded. They grinned at each other and chuckled, content to remain friendly colleagues.

Later, Emily was telling Phoebe about her date. Phoebe had seemed to show something very much like relief when Emily made clear that she was not interested in Gunther emotionally.

'So you're going to solve the problem of the centuries, and get Ross and Rachel back together?' she said. 'Anything I can do to help?'

'Actually, Phoebe, there is,' said Emily. 'Here's what I want you to do …'


	6. Music Hath Charms

Part 6: Music Hath Charms 

'Well, Joey,' said Emily, grinning at him as she pushed back her chair a bit, puffing out her cheeks and patting her stomach to suggest fullness, 'you certainly know places to eat that give you value for money.'

Joey regarded her with wholehearted admiration. He did like his dates to enjoy their food, and in that respect Emily beat them all.

'Are all English women as fond of food as you?' he asked.

'Oh no,' said Emily. 'Plenty are obsessed with dieting, just like over here, and then there are the ones who eat nothing but junk food and, my God, it shows! But I've always liked _good food. I'm lucky, I suppose: as long as I can keep reasonably active, I don't put on much weight, and I can easily get it off again. And rushing about Central Perk for eight hours at a stretch is not a bad way to keep active!'_

'You certainly put your back into it,' said Joey. 'Rachel, now – she did as little as she could get away with.'

'I can imagine,' said Emily, grinning. 'I love her dearly, but she's not what you might call energetic – except when it comes to shopping, of course.'

They both chuckled. Then, finally, Joey turned the conversation to a topic that he had been wanting to raise.

'Er, you … there's nothing serious between you and Gunther?' he asked a little tentatively.

'There's nothing between me and Gunther _at all,' said Emily emphatically. 'We really are just good friends. Anyway, haven't you noticed, he's got a fan club now?'_

'Hey, that's right,' said Joey. 'Suddenly he has girls all over him. I've never seen the guy look happier. What happened?'

'I, um, directed his attention to some women who seemed … interested in him, 'said Emily demurely.

Joey regarded her with respect.  'Boy, you really are something, Emily. You make it up with Rachel, smooth it all over with Ross and calm him right down over the Chandler and Monica stuff, you set Gunther up, and you've become a great partner and roomie for Phoebe. Don't you ever want anything for yourself?'

Emily looked at him with a wicked glint in her eye. 'Well, Joey, there _is_ something that you seem the ideal person to supply – strictly as a one-off, you understand.'

Joey looked at her wide-eyed. 'You mean …?'

'Yes,' said Emily, her wicked look intensifying. She reached across the table and took his hand, squeezing gently. 'I'd like to get laid, as you say.' She smiled at him, completely at ease.

Joey felt quite disoriented. Only very rarely did women come on to him quite so openly. He also felt disappointment. Was Emily seeing him as no more than a convenient way to satisfy sexual frustration?

She was regarding him with an amused expression. 'How does it feel?'

He looked even more startled. 'Huh?'

'Come on, Joey,' she said. 'How often have you had sex when you had absolutely no intention of following it up?'

He ducked his head in acknowledgement. 'Okay, but, but … I, um, I was thinking …' He couldn't find the words to express his feelings, which were rather unfamiliar to him anyway.

Her face changed. 'Oh Joey, were you hoping to start a relationship with me?'

Suddenly unable to look her in the face, he nodded. She squeezed his hand again. 'I'm sorry, Joey. I like you a lot, but I don't think I could get _serious_ about you. Is that going to be hard to take?'

He looked up, to see her regarding him sympathetically.

'Be honest with yourself,' she said. 'Do you _really_ want to start something with me? Or do you just think it would be nice to have me as your girlfriend?'

Joey smiled a bit ruefully. 'I guess that's it, maybe. You're so unlike the girls I usually date. Emily, I really do admire you.'

She smiled at him. 'That's nice. Well,' her smiled turned into an impish grin, 'how would you like to admire more of me than you can see at the moment? Because I'm still interested. I just don't want anything more than … some fun.'

'I'd be a fool to turn down the chance,' said Joey decisively, and he signalled for the check.

-----

_I've been a jolly tinker for these forty years or more,_

_But such a lovely job as that I never did before,_

sang Emily cheerfully to herself as she opened the door of Phoebe's apartment. She was feeling great; Joey had been a very satisfying lover. But she really did think she wanted a bit more brains in any man that she was going to go out with regularly.

Phoebe was sitting reading in a chair. 'You're home late,' she commented. 'You had a good time with Joey, then?' Her light tone covered what looked to Emily rather like tension, visible in the set of her body.

'Oh Phoebe, you shouldn't have stayed up,' Emily said. 'As for Joey,' she couldn't help giggling, 'I had a _very good time – but it was the kind of thing you only do once.'_

Phoeb seemed to relax, and she grinned. 'Emily Waltham, you're a wicked woman!'

'Well, it's hard to be good _all the time,' said Emily. 'Now, since you're here, about our cunning plan. After we've done our Central Perk spot tomorrow and go back to the apartment, we start talking the way I suggested.'_

Phoebe's eyes lit up. 'Are we really gonna do this?'

Emily nodded. 'I think the time is ripe.'

'Yay!' cried Phoebe. 'It's been so hard, watching them both suffer.' She looked at Emily lovingly. 'You're making such a difference to our lives, Emily, and not just ours. Gunther's a new man.'

'Yes, isn't he?' said Emily eagerly. 'Some attention from his admirers was all it took. I don't know that he's settled on one yet.'

'Well, would you, if you were a man and had hot kids like Elizabeth and Jenni and Katie interested in you?' said Phoebe, grinning broadly. 'Mind, he ought to be careful. They might take it into their heads to get together and kidnap him and, like, _ravish him in a body.'_

Emily laughed at the mental picture conjured up. 'He'd probably die of an overload of bliss.'

Phoebe joined in the laughter, stretching out a hand and placing it on Emily's arm, in an apparently spontaneous gesture of affection. Emily put her hand over Phoebe's and patted it gently.

'Time to turn in, pardner,' she said in an 'old West' accent.

'Yup, guess so, gotta get some shut-eye,' Phoebe replied in the same way, and then she did a 'Pttt … _dang!' to imitate spitting tobacco juice into a spittoon, something Emily had picked up from an old Goon Show and liked to do now and then. Emily laughed and repeated it. Smiling at each other, they went to their bedrooms._

-----

On Sundays, Emily and Phoebe did their singing spot in the afternoon, because Central Perk closed early. Both were in a frisky mood, it seemed, and they sang all kinds of cheerful and nonsensical stuff. But Emily varied her selection with some love songs that had good tunes but were often rather sad in their content, like Yellow Bird and Lemon Tree. She took a moment to explain that when she was in a good mood she sometimes liked to sing sad songs, and then launched into the tragic Banks of the Ohio, which had a good chorus that everyone could join in. She finished with Wildwood Flower, which she sang in a version that had a more upbeat ending:

_I will dance, I will sing, and my heart will be gay;   
I'll banish this weeping, drive troubles away.   
I'll live yet to see him regret the dark hour,   
when he won, then neglected his frail wildwood flower. _

Ross, who had as usual been sitting rather gloomily, not joining in, seemed very struck by this and looked across at Rachel without her noticing.

Soon afterwards the whole group returned to Monica and Rachel's apartment to consider plans for the evening. Phoebe and Emily were carrying on a discussion of how some tunes fitted the spirit of a song better than others, and as this was a topic that anyone who ever listened to music could join in, most did so, citing songs that they knew. But Ross remained silent. Emily admitted that there were some songs that she liked largely for their tunes, or even just the tunes of their chorus, such as Country Roads or Carolina on My Mind.

'Plaisir d'Amour is another,' she said. 'The refrain is beautiful, but the words of the verses are simply trite, whether in the original French or the English version I once heard on a Joan Baez record.'

'That means Pleasure of Love, doesn't it?' said Phoebe. 'Sing us the refrain.'

They all fell silent as Emily sang, in a slow pure tone,

_Plaisir d'amour_

_ne dure qu'un moment._

_Chagrin d'amour_

_dure toute la vie-ie-ie._

'What does it mean?' said Monica, glancing in a rather worried way at Ross, who had made a little choking noise and was showing pain in his face. Evidently he knew perfectly well what it meant.

'The pleasure of love lasts only a moment,' said Emily. 'The pain of love lasts your whole life.'

'Wow, a really sad sentiment, if a bit overstated,' said Phoebe rather quickly; she had also glanced at Ross. 'Hey, I once read a Scottish poem about love called, um, something about bonny Doon. Do you know a tune for that?'

'Ye banks and braes of bonnie Doon, by Robert Burns,' said Emily. 'You bet I do. It's a very beautiful tune, but I'm not sure I should sing it. It's very sad.'

'Oh, go on,' said Joey, oblivious as always to the undercurrents. 'I love to hear you sing.'

Chandler, Monica and Rachel also begged her to sing it, so Emily sighed and agreed. 'I'll anglicise it a bit,' she said. 'Lowland Scots is hard to pronounce properly. It's from the woman's point of view.'

Slowly and clearly, she sang,

_Ye banks and braes of bonnie Doon, _

_how can ye bloom so fresh and fair?_

_How can ye chant, ye little birds, _

_and I so weary, full of care?_

_Thou'lt break my heart, thou warbling bird, _

_that wantons through the flowering thorn:_

_Thou mind'st me of departed joys – _

_departed, never to return._

She was drawing breath for the second verse when Ross cried in a voice full of pain, 'No more, please!' They turned to him in surprise if not alarm, to see tears streaming down his face. 'I can't bear it,' he said in a choking voice. 'Oh God, it fits, it all fits! Departed, never to return. I've had so much love, and I threw it all away!' He buried his face in his hands.

'Oh no no no!' cried Rachel in sudden anguish, jumping up and rushing over to kneel by him, putting comforting arms round his shoulders. Tears in her own eyes, she directed a look of burning reproach at Emily and Phoebe. 'Why are you _tormenting_ him like this?'

'I, I … I didn't intend to hurt him,' Emily stammered; she had certainly not expected Ross to react so strongly. Phoebe also looked rather abashed.

Rachel snorted, then ignored them and turned back to Ross. She hugged him and murmured in a soft voice, 'Ross, Ross, Ross, the joys _can_ return, I promise you!' She drew a deep breath. 'I love you, Ross,' she said in a stronger voice. 'Could you love me again?'

For a moment everyone held their breath. Then Ross raised his head, hope blazing from his eyes. 'You really mean it?'

'Yes, Ross,' she said, looking at him with big serious eyes. 'I know I have a history of telling you that I love you at the wrong time, but now I think it's the right time – third time lucky, in fact.'

'Oh Rachel,' he said rapturously, and drew her to him to kiss her. Everyone's face was suddenly wreathed in smiles from ear to ear.

'You set this up, didn't you?' Monica muttered to Emily.

Emily nodded. 'But I _really didn't expect Ross to be affected so badly, and I'm sorry about that. It worked, though, didn't it?'_

'Lobsters once again!' cried Phoebe gleefully. 'Emily, you're a genius!'

Ross pulled back from Rachel and looked at Emily with growing suspicion. 'Did you cook this up together?' he growled.

'She did it for me, Ross,' Rachel cried before Emily could answer. 'I wanted to get back with you, but I didn't know how you felt. I really didn't know she'd do that, and I'm sorry you were so upset.'

'So am I, truly,' said Emily, trying to project sincerity. 'I swear, Rachel wasn't in on this, she just accepted my offer of help. I,' she swallowed, and said a bit falteringly, 'I just wanted to see you happy, Ross.'

Ross's expression remained uncertain for a moment; then he grinned. 'Just this once, the end justifies the means. You forced me to confront my feelings fully.' The grin expanded into a beam. 'I, I couldn't be happier. It's like my life has been totally turned around.' He gently pulled Rachel onto his lap, and gave her a loving hug. 'Back together – it's been my dream.'

'Mine too,' said Rachel, snuggling against him. 'Of course, I do have one teeny, tiny condition.'

'Which is?' he said, his grin showing that he suspected what was coming.

'Never say we were on a break again.'

As the others laughed, Ross hugged and kissed her. 'You got it.' He looked over her head at Emily. 'You're a miracle worker, Emily. Why can't you find someone for yourself?'

'Well, I don't know,' said Emily uncertainly, unprepared for this. 'Maybe I'd have to go back to England for that. But then again' – she looked directly at Phoebe –  'in so many ways, I'd rather go on living here.'

Phoebe looked back at her. 'I want you to stay,' she said, her voice a little hoarse and trembly. She gulped. 'I, well, it just feels _right_ having you around all the time and being partners with you, as right as it ever was with Leslie. We, we don't _have_ to be, like, lovers as well …'

Emily produced a delightful smile. 'Maybe we should put that in a file marked 'Pending' or 'Keep them guessing'. Phoebe, I feel the same as you do: we go together, we fit. So I'll stay.' She threw back her head and sang, with great feeling, an impromptu adaptation from Bob Dylan:

_Well, it feels great,_

_Not to be on my own,_

_Got my direction home,_

_Not a complete unknown,_

_No more a rolling stone._

Anyone who looked closely might have seen that her eyes were just a little shiny, as if from incipient tears; but her voice remained completely steady.

'Oh Emily!' cried Phoebe, as emotionally as Ross had cried Rachel's name. Her face ecstatic, she swept her into a crushing hug. The others looked on indulgently, most of them sure that there was love on both sides. If it wasn't the ordinary kind of love, well, that was to be expected with two such unusual personalities.

'So that's all settled,' said Joey in satisfaction as Phoebe released a somewhat pink-faced and flustered Emily. 'Now, are we going to send out for pizza or what?'

-----

Author's Note: Well, th-th-that's all, folks, although I will listen sympathetically to pleas for an epilogue. It may be the last story I do for a while; I really _must pay more attention to my real-life writing. But as long as I keep getting reviews like the ones I have been having for this series (_thank_ you all), I am not giving up writing, and I am always open to suggestions as to what I should do next (I do have the outline of a Wild West idea)._


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